As Christmas looms over the horizon, gamers and technology aficionados alike flock to their nearest electronic store to pick up their Next-Gen systems. But personally I would like to present a word of warning as far as these new consoles are concerned. No, this is not another ‘exploding 360s’ article, though the context is rather similar. This is on what I’m sure many gamers have come to realize, sadly some have realized this the hard way. Nintendo is trying to kill us.
Immediately your ‘WTF?!’ flags should go off, but I know for a fact you readers know what I am talking about. The release of the much anticipated Nintendo Wii has sparked an ample size group of discontent, particularly with its dangerous, yet ‘revolutionary’ controller. Many like me have either experience or witnessed the sleek, wireless Wii controller fly across the room and impale a rather valuable appliance; like a large TV…
Or even beyond that, seen the controller skewer a wall, lamp, the console itself or simply eject itself from the room via a nearby window. Surely it can’t be Nintendo’s fault for making an aerodynamically sound controller, but one has to wonder if not enough thought was put into the sheer physics of these airborne controllers. It’s easily understandable why these controllers suddenly fly out of the hands of gamer; we get into our games, and I mean ‘really’ get into them. Gone are the days of trash talking over the internet by way of a handy microphone. Now thanks to Nintendo, we can simply use the Wii controllers as veritable nunchucks to defend our gaming honor. But that aside, many believe that it is on the fault of the owner that he or she uses their whole range of motion to smack a Tennis ball across the court, or knock down a row of Bowling pins. However, this is what the console was meant to present; an interactive way for gamers to enjoy their games. It is not that such gamers are mentally challenged or unaccustomed to such range of motion, simply that if a game is worthwhile, it will take most if not all of your attention and in the case of the Wii that obviously includes your movements.
Now, you might think that such TV impalement cases are rare or almost nonexistent. This of course is not true, although the rate of TV impalement has been kept
at a minimum, the close proximity to such an event grows everyday due to an incredibly cheap ‘safety strap’. The bloody thing is practically 1mm thick, and not surprisingly snaps at the first note of a quick jerk. Though Nintendo has released a statement that they will investigate the safety strap and its use, I doubt they will replace all the destroyed furnishings and cover any related medical cost. However I am curious how Nintendo will go about testing such a new strap, most likely flailing it madly until it snaps and hits a supervisor in the eye. But I’m sure we can count on Nintendo’s quality control center to rectify the situation as soon as possible. Just like Ubisoft’s quality control department.
So the point? Well be careful this Christmas. It is very doubtful that giving someone a present that turns out destroying a $3000.00 television will tally much favor with anyone. At least they will enjoy it up to that point…possibly. At any rate I leave you with some links to some rather interesting sites.
http://www.wiihaveaproblem.com/ (Note the “Handcuff Strap” Looks like we won’t need Nintendo’s solution anymore!)
http://www.engadget.com/2006/11/26/hard-hitting-news-wsj-warns-of-wii-related-injuries/ (He’s right, your don’t have to move around like a maniac, but then I counter with yonder web-comic here [
http://www.penny-arcade.com/comic/2006/11/13 ]
“The 1337 shall inherit the Earth”
